How many ears did Davy Crockett have?
Three -- a left ear, a right ear, and a wild front-ear.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts!

What do horses do on Sunday mornings?
Go to their neigh-bors

Knock knock
Who's there?
Who
Who who?
Where is that owl?

What sits on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck!

Where do you get dragon milk from?
Cows with short legs!

If you only have 50 cents and five seconds to live, what should you buy?
Life Savers

Who was bigger? Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, or Baby Bigger?
Baby Bigger because he was a little bigger.

I knew an old dog, What was his name?
What!

When was tennis first mentioned in the Bible?
When Joseph served in pharaoh's courts!

When was baseball first mentioned in the Bible?
Genesis 1:1 -- "In the big inning ..."

I asked a friend how he was and he said:
"I ate six Happy Meals, and I am still depressed."

What's the difference between an elephant and a flea?
Fleas can't have elephants!

What did the bee say to the flower?
Hi bud. What time do you open?

What did the flower say to the bee?
Buzz off!

What do you get when you drop a red brick into a green river?
A wet brick.

Why did the duck cross the road?
He wanted to.

What do you get when you cross a puppy, a chili pepper and a shovel?
A hot digity dog!

How do you spot a baby diamondback?
Easy. Just look for the rattle!

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.

Two apples were in a pan in the oven. One looked over to the other and said "Man, it's hot in here!" The other one said "WOW!!! A talking apple!"

Knock Knock
Who's there
Ya!
Ya! Who?
So what's all the excitement about?

What do pigs put on their wounds?
Oinkment!

What is green and pecks on trees?
Woody Wood Pickle

What do you get if you cross a duck with fireworks?
A firequacker

Why was the broom late?
It over swept.

What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, and I'll hang around.

What do chickens grow on?
Eggplants

What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool?
She had mittens.

What is the cat's favorite TV show?
The evening meows

What did the firefly say after he backed into a fan?
"Well, I'm delighted!"

What did the Polar bear say to his parents when he was losing in tug of war?
"Don't worry, I'm a 'polar' bear!"

What do you call a cow with no feet?
Ground beef!

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
What are you crying about?

Knock, knock
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow
Interrupting Co -- MOO!

Why did the man water only half of his yard?
Because the weather report called for a 50 percent chance of rain.

Why did the dog stay in the shade?
He didn't want to be a hot dog.
--from Jace B.